managing intrusive thoughts

When was the last time you noticed your mind making thoughts? Not just having them, but actively manufacturing them, one after another, like an assembly line that never shuts down for maintenance?

Here's the truth: your mind creates thoughts the way your mouth creates saliva. Constantly. Involuntarily. By design.

Some brilliant. Some bizarre. Some downright terrifying.

And we all have them.

The uninvited guests in your mental living room

Most thoughts drift through like clouds on a summer day. "I wonder if that coffee shop is still open." They appear, they linger briefly, they dissolve.

But others land with the subtlety of an anvil. "What if that medical test comes back positive?" "What if my plane crashes when I fly into Washington DC?”

Our instinct is to fight. To push back. To struggle against these thoughts as if they're intruders in our own mental space.

We've been taught that mastery of mind means control of thoughts. That proper thinking means only entertaining the "right" kinds of ideas.

The paradox of resistance

Here's the rub: the more fiercely you fight unwanted thoughts, the more firmly they plant their feet.

It's like quicksand. Struggle harder, sink faster.

Soon, you're not just worried about the initial thought – you're worried about your worrying. "Why can't I stop thinking about this? What's wrong with me?"

The spiral begins. The thought that was merely uncomfortable becomes unbearable because now it's wrapped in layers of shame and self-judgment.

Taking A different approach

There's another way to dance with difficult thoughts, and it starts with a simple recognition:

“Having unwanted thoughts doesn’t make you broken. It makes you human.”

What matters isn't the thought itself, but how you respond to it.

When we fight thoughts, we give them power. When we flee from them, we give them mystery. Both approaches only strengthen their grip.

Instead, try curiosity.

When that thought appears – "What if my plane crashes?" – don't run or wrestle. Turn toward it with gentle interest. "Hello there, strange thought. What brought you here today?"

This isn't about analyzing the thought to death. It's about changing your relationship with it.

understanding the power of perspective

Next, step back. Way back.

See the thought from a distance. Engage what therapists call your "wise mind" – the part of you that can observe both your emotions and your rational knowledge simultaneously.

Remember the dozens of times you've flown without incident. Consider the statistical reality, not just the emotional one.

When you create this distance, you can see that the thought is just that – a thought. Not a premonition. Not a truth. Just one of the thousands of mental events you'll experience today.

The futility of thought control

Fighting thoughts is like trying to hold back the ocean with your hands. It doesn't work. It never has. For anyone.

The mind will think. That's its job. Asking it not to think is like asking your heart not to beat or your lungs not to breathe.

But here's the liberating truth: you don't have to believe every thought that appears in your consciousness. You don't have to follow every mental rabbit down its hole.

Give them a name

Instead of grasping or pushing, try naming. "Ah, there's a worry thought." "There's a judgment thought." "There's a catastrophizing thought."

This simple act creates space between you and the thought. It reminds you that you are not your thoughts – you are the awareness that notices them.

When we acknowledge thoughts without shame, without struggle, we give them permission to do what thoughts naturally do when we aren't clutching them so tightly:

They fly on past.

Make it a daily habit

This isn't a one-time solution. It's a practice. A daily engagement with the nature of mind.

Some days will be easier than others. Some thoughts stick around longer than we'd like.

But over time, you'll notice something changing. Not necessarily the quantity or quality of your thoughts, but your relationship to them.

The thoughts that once sent you into spirals of anxiety now register as passing mental events. The worries that once kept you up at night now seem less urgent, less personal.

see the bigger picture

This approach isn't just about comfort. It's about freedom. When we're no longer at the mercy of every thought that crosses our mental landscape, we reclaim our attention. We reclaim our energy.

And we find ourselves more present for the life that's happening right now, not lost in thoughts about what might happen next week or what should have happened yesterday.

Trying to keep intrusive thoughts out of your mind doesn't work for anyone, but giving them a name and addressing them without shame can let them fly on past.